What It's Like to Be Sexually Harassed at Work - Part II

Why I Didn't Report - Complicity - David Gets Caught

Photo by Heike Trautmann on Unsplash

This is Part II in this series, so for it to make sense, you need to read Part I first. It’s rather long, so scroll down to the Section sub-titled Good God Can You Get to the Good Part Already? if you just want the meat.

I also want to respond to some comments on Part I, objecting that the way I described things was not typical, specifically with respect to not being afraid of my harasser, but more annoyed and infuriated by him.

I want to be clear that I’m not saying what happened to me is how it always happens. As fellow lawyer and HR expert Aristides pointed out, my story is only the second most likely scenario. The first most likely is a mutual affair that ends with a messy unilateral break-up. But I maintain that what happened to me is far more common than what people typically envision, which is a much scarier, darker story. And since this has happened I’ve talked to so many women who have been through similar situations, and my story isn’t that atypical. Rather than predation and fear, these things usually play out in a much more pitiful, commonplace way. The characters of Gabe, Andy, and Michael in The Office – getting crushes and suffering lovesick delusions – is actually more realistic of how it tends to go down. And I know there are women who suffer romantic delusions and can act desperate and foolish too — maybe someone else on Substack can tell that tale.

Okay, back to the story, where David had just left my hotel room after trying to maul me and crying about it for two hours.

I honestly don’t think I did anything wrong, in Part I. But this is the part I’m much more ashamed of.